fuel

11-3-25⠀|⠀listening to: a dorm washer loudly take 6 hours to do a small load of laundry

every day is exactly the same. i get little to no sleep. i go to work. i cram homework. i barely meet deadlines, i don't eat, i forget to take my meds. i'm beyond the point of feeling hungry or tired anymore. my money melts into tuition and bills before i even get to see it. i'm not happy and i cant imagine nor remember ever being happy. i can't even cry anymore because of all the meds i'm on. i dont even have time to cry. i dont know what im drawing the energy to do anything from, but surely it'll run dry soon. and now what am i doing? spending my fifteen minutes of free time shouting into nothing. i'm not begging for it all to end only because i don't have the capacity to beg anymore.